Sometimes less is more
Last night I found myself in a bit of a funk. A got an e-mail from a friend and faithful supporter of SKM to let me know that there had been some questions raised at a popular knitting message board where she had posted a reminder about the Think Pink Challenge. I expected questions like "When is the drop-dead deadline?" or "Who will be receiving the scarves", but instead the posts were really comments about the usefulness of the entire project. One knitter, a breast cancer survivor, wrote "I don't need a pink scarf. I need a cure."
I'll be honest and admit that my first thoughts were angry ones. But they were quickly replaced with sad ones. I can't imagine what it must be like to be so bitter that you can't see the goodness in the hearts of strangers who are simply trying to let you know that they care. This project is completely voluntary, none of the countless women from all over the country who have enthusiastically donated their time and talents to create so many beautiful pink scarves were forced to do so. Similarly, none of the intended recipients of these gifts are forced to accept them. So why, I ask, is it necessary to diminish or demean the simple acts of kindness of others? My grandma used to have a saying... "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything."
Initially, I felt a need to respond to these posts, particularly because my friend who'd submitted the post sent another one informing the other commenters that she had forwarded the link from this thread to me. And, in fact, after much thought, I did craft what I thought was a very *diplomatic* reply. Yes, in retrospect, I realize that in my reply, I was defending our work and *apologizing* if I offended anyone. I added that I'd given several scarves, prayer shawls, afghans and other knitted items to people who were sick over the years and without fail, they had all been delighted and thankful to receive them. I even added that I too had had a personal encounter with breast cancer and that I was so appreciative of the people, both friends and strangers, who expressed their love and concern in so many ways, both big and small. In those darkest days, the loving kindness of friends and strangers alike was much more important to me than the knowledge that they'd sent a check on my behalf to the American Cancer Society.
I'll be honest and admit that my first thoughts were angry ones. But they were quickly replaced with sad ones. I can't imagine what it must be like to be so bitter that you can't see the goodness in the hearts of strangers who are simply trying to let you know that they care. This project is completely voluntary, none of the countless women from all over the country who have enthusiastically donated their time and talents to create so many beautiful pink scarves were forced to do so. Similarly, none of the intended recipients of these gifts are forced to accept them. So why, I ask, is it necessary to diminish or demean the simple acts of kindness of others? My grandma used to have a saying... "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything."
Initially, I felt a need to respond to these posts, particularly because my friend who'd submitted the post sent another one informing the other commenters that she had forwarded the link from this thread to me. And, in fact, after much thought, I did craft what I thought was a very *diplomatic* reply. Yes, in retrospect, I realize that in my reply, I was defending our work and *apologizing* if I offended anyone. I added that I'd given several scarves, prayer shawls, afghans and other knitted items to people who were sick over the years and without fail, they had all been delighted and thankful to receive them. I even added that I too had had a personal encounter with breast cancer and that I was so appreciative of the people, both friends and strangers, who expressed their love and concern in so many ways, both big and small. In those darkest days, the loving kindness of friends and strangers alike was much more important to me than the knowledge that they'd sent a check on my behalf to the American Cancer Society.
However, my post was lost in cyberspace when I hit the Submit button and I couldn't get it back. At that moment I realized that it was just as well. Perhaps it was God's way of telling me that not all questions need to be answered and not all criticisms need to be defended. Those who are trying to do good would never get anything done if they spent all their time defending themselves to those who just don't "get it". So, I thanked God for teaching me an important lesson and turned my computer off for the night.
This morning, I went to the local hospital for my weekly volunteering. I'm so blessed that I get to sit in the surgery waiting room for 4 hours a week and knit while assisting the families who are waiting for loved ones. Almost without fail, my knitting always opens the doors to all kinds of conversations, the opportunity to share the work of this ministry, and sometimes, even the chance to share examples of God's goodness...All that while I'm knitting too! It doesn't get much better. :)
This morning, as I was saying good-bye to the OR nurses, 2 that I'd never seen before noticed the pink scarf I was knitting and asked what I was doing. I told them about the Think Pink Challenge and nearly started crying when the both started telling me how awesome and amazing this project was. They said that as OR nurses, they see women come in all the time who are so scared and confused and even angry. These women often feel like God and the whole world has forgotten about them. The nurses said that this project was a wonderful way to show these women that people care about them, are praying for them, and are supporting them in this struggle. One of the nurses said that she was certain that these pink scarves would be "worn like loving hugs" by the women who receive them.
At that point I was so thankful that I wasn't able to send that reply last night. I didn't need to. Isn't it amazing how God has a way of giving us just what we need just when we need it?
This morning, I went to the local hospital for my weekly volunteering. I'm so blessed that I get to sit in the surgery waiting room for 4 hours a week and knit while assisting the families who are waiting for loved ones. Almost without fail, my knitting always opens the doors to all kinds of conversations, the opportunity to share the work of this ministry, and sometimes, even the chance to share examples of God's goodness...All that while I'm knitting too! It doesn't get much better. :)
This morning, as I was saying good-bye to the OR nurses, 2 that I'd never seen before noticed the pink scarf I was knitting and asked what I was doing. I told them about the Think Pink Challenge and nearly started crying when the both started telling me how awesome and amazing this project was. They said that as OR nurses, they see women come in all the time who are so scared and confused and even angry. These women often feel like God and the whole world has forgotten about them. The nurses said that this project was a wonderful way to show these women that people care about them, are praying for them, and are supporting them in this struggle. One of the nurses said that she was certain that these pink scarves would be "worn like loving hugs" by the women who receive them.
At that point I was so thankful that I wasn't able to send that reply last night. I didn't need to. Isn't it amazing how God has a way of giving us just what we need just when we need it?
posted by Syd at
3:57 PM
2 Comments:
Thats a wonderful thing you are doing! It reminds me of the verse where Jesus says, when did ye visit me in prison...etc. When we do something for others that are hurting or needful we do it as for him. Its good to know there is someone like you waiting to help...caring.
By
Maggie Ann, at 12:17 AM
Re/the pink scarves for breast cancer patients--I am so fortunate in that I have never (so far) had breast cancer especially since I'm at the age when many women are diagnosed. So maybe I have no business saying this--but I have to agree with whoever felt that the pink scarves weren't that helpful. I don't know how someone with breast cancer would feel but I have been ill before, and what I needed was NOT a scarf but PRACTICAL HELP! Three years ago on Thanksgiving Day I underwent emergency surgery to repair damage done by adhesions. If you don't know what they are and you've ever had abdominal surgery, talk to your doctor about the possibility. I'd had an abdominal hysterectomy some years earlier and the scar tissue left had grown. I lost 2 feet of small intestine. I was fortunate to have survived but when I was released from the hospital I was alone. My daughter was at college, immersed in upcoming final exams and projects due, and had to return to her studies or risk failing the semester. I was so weak I could barely get around, but no one offered to help me shop for groceries, pick up my meds at the drugstore, clean my house, or take out the trash. As you might guess I have no friends. No one at my church called me and asked if I needed help and I was unable to ask. I just couldn't. So if you can't imagine someone "so bitter" you've met that person. I would have given anything for someone's loving care and concern during that time. But I would probably have gotten mad if they'd offered a scarf when what I needed was a ride to the store or a meal brought to me.
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Anonymous, at 1:21 AM
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